Let’s Not Talk About Blame

Establishing whose fault things are does not help in the negotiations. When the horse isdivorced couple out of the barn, let’s just move forward to putting all these things behind us. Here’s what we try to move towards:

Establish a focus and listen

One of the key components to effective negotiation is to listen to the other party (really listen!) and focus on the problem. How you express yourself and how you react to the other party impacts the productiveness of the dialogue. Stay away from personal attacks as they create stress and do not lead to good results.

Choice of process

Examine the different processes available for resolution of the issues and choose one that feels comfortable for both parties. Research how each process works to determine whether it is the right one for your situation. Examples are mediation, collaborative law and direct or kitchen table negotiation.

Time Management

Establish a realistic time frame for how and when the negotiation will take place. Understand what information is needed to make decisions, how and when it will be produced and who will take responsibility for gathering the information.

Focus on the future not the past

Establish priorities and then, after all of the necessary information is collected and understood, stay flexible and take a careful look at options for resolution.

Be creative

Solutions are usually richer when both parties spend their energy considering options, alternatives and “what-ifs” that work for both parties.

We know where the blame game can lead. There are more effective ways to resolve disputes – especially when it comes to the family.

Ty Zdravko practices law as a divorce attorney, and family law attorney in Palm Harbor, Clearwater and the surrounding area.

For more information, visit our website at www.divorceboardcertified.com
or call (727) 787-5919.

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